Want to know how to build your self-love muscle? Here’s how to set the foundation of unconditional love for yourself.

 

Self-acceptance negates obsession with securing approval from others or your judgy self. In turn, you radiate confidence and positive energy that will fuel greater self-esteem and positive responses from others.

 

How to improve it

» Ask, don’t assume: “Stop trying to second-guess what others think of you and assume they like you until proven otherwise,” says Fuller. “Tell yourself that you don’t need approval in order to feel worthwhile – remind yourself that you are a valuable person for who you are.”

» Trade judgment for empathy: Talk to yourself with kindness and approval:

 

Old You: “I’m such an airhead.”

New You: “I wasn’t concentrating.”

 

Old You: “I look like a beached whale so I’m not wearing a bikini to the beach.”

New You: “One-piece swimsuits flatter my figure better and play up my breasts, so I wear them to the beach now.”

 

Old You: “I’ll never get the job, so why bother applying?”

New You: “I’m going to apply and even if I don’t get the job, I’ll get better at doing interviews.”

 

Old You: “He didn’t call back because I completely bored him.”

New You: “Clearly we didn’t connect well, so it’s a good thing he didn’t call back.”

 

Old You: “I’m such a klutz I’ll probably trip over when being a bridesmaid.”

New You: “I’m looking forward to being a bridesmaid and it’s flattering that my girlfriend wants me in that role and clearly thinks I will do a great job.”

 

NEXT: Discover ways to boost your self-esteem.

 

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